Last year I ended a brief online friendship with a woman in another state who had clearly become fixated and obsessed with me, making me uncomfortable with the intensity of her attention and the demands she put on my time and energy. After weeks of her blogging constantly about me being her star-crossed soul mate, of having led her on, of her passionate and undying love for me, I snapped and told her with great finality to leave me alone, that the connection she saw between us was a fantasy, that her behaviour was creepy and inappropriate and that I wanted nothing more to do with her.
Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine what would happen next.
Her obsession with me not only grew, but became hostile and vindictive in nature. As she refused to come to terms with my boundaries, she gradually recharacterised me from a perfect symbolic figure of all she desired into a malignant villain who had deliberately set out to make her fall in love with me only to discard her cruelly. Already showing signs of delusion, she diagnosed me as being a “narcissistic sociopath” determined to destroy her.
She became similarly fixated on a woman living in the same state as her and began claiming this woman was me, in disguise to hunt her down and kill her. She started harassing this woman and I daily, threatening us with various forms of actions if “I” did not leave the state. All efforts to explain that we were two separate people who had nothing to do with each other, and that I was carrying on my life in my own state, fell on deaf ears. She continued to insist this woman was me in disguise and engaged in constant, defamatory claims about me, including that I was out to kill her.
The stalker escalated her attacks and claims against me, vexatiously reporting me to the taxation office, harassing me online, continuing to make false and defamatory accusations, attempting to sabotage my business (and therefore source of income) and contacting my family to harass them as well. She published my phone number and other highly personal information and obtained my residential address through underhanded means. She also continued to harass the woman she claims to believe is me in disguise and after this woman went public on twitter to expose the harassment she had been subjected to, this stalker filed for an intervention order against me - the basis of which she claims are the (understandable) actions of this other woman objecting to being harassed.
This means I now have to obtain legal counsel and travel to another state to attend a court date.
I am self-employed in the sex industry, a student with debts I am struggling to catch up on and continue to pay off, with severe depression who is still recovering from a nervous breakdown I had a couple of years ago. I am attempting to rebuild my life and gain qualifications that will enable me to persue employment (in beauty therapy) that will bring balance to my life. I have PTSD that makes it very difficult for me to work in my current job without being triggered and further traumatised (a fact my stalker has also used against me in psychological attacks). This stalker’s actions have caused strife between me and my family members, which has been devastating to me. For a very long time I have resisted persuing legal action as I am aware this woman is mentally ill and I also believe the justice system is flawed and oppressive, but I cannot allow a false order against me with no basis go forth when it has the potential to affect my future.
The emotional distress caused to me by this woman’s harassment and abuse has been extreme. Anxiety, turmoil, insomnia, emotional instability, intense fear and even paranoia are some of the consquences I have been living with. At times I have been left unable to work and have even feared she has set up friends of hers to pose as clients, as she has done with the other woman she claims is me. I am also concerned her constant diatribes that I am a psychopath will be accessed by potential future employers and affect my ability to find steady work.
I am not this woman’s only victim. She has targeted several people, mainly women and many of whom are marginalised in various ways, in the last year and subjected them to various forms of harassment and abuse. It seems that I serve as the proxy for all her rage and resentment and so am the one she focuses her most concentrated efforts on.
I am asking for donations to help me cover the cost of travelling to the state where the court date will be held and of paying lawyer’s fees. My income is inconsistent and highly dependent on my psychological ability to work, my study commitments and whether the industry is in flux so it is concentrated on paying my rent and utilities and covering my debts. I have nothing extra left over to account for these unexpected and unjust costs I am facing and am imploring those of you out there who might be able to afford $5 here and there to consider helping me in this time of need.
I have stated a goal of $3000 which I hope will be sufficient and in the instance there is money left over it will be donated to a women’s shelter in either Victoria or NSW I will select after investigation to identify those that are inclusive of trans women. Receipts will be provided.
If you are able to donate, please accept my enormous thanks and gratitude. I am hopeful that opposing this vexatious order will discourage this woman in her harassment of her other victims and ultimately be beneficial for us all. Thank you so much for your support.
Go Fund Me has investigated my stalker’s claim that this is a scam and I have provided evidence to their satisfaction that this fundraising is authentic.
My stalker’s claims to be the victim began shortly after I advised her her conduct was stalking and she developed this narrative of me being the stalker to discredit me and justify her further harassment.
I have the right to the best defence possible when faced with such deliberately malicious accusations. I’m sure I don’t need to detail the extra anguish her efforts to prevent me defending myself to the full ability I am able has caused me, especially as she is the one who has chosen to start this fallacious legal process based on false claims. This is yet more example of her harassment. I will further point out there is NOTHING stopping her, if she is so confident she is in the right, to similarly crowd source for support.
I can provide witnesses in the double digits to corroborate my experience as well as ample evidence.